Simon Bose, who wrote candidly about living with cancer, died on July 15 on the age of 47. BBC interviewThe former aid employee told the reporter: “My pain is under control and I'm very happy – it sounds strange to say, but I'm as happy as I've ever been in my life.”
It could appear strange that an individual may be blissful as the top approaches, but in my experience as a clinical psychologist who works with people at the top of their lives, this isn’t unusual. .
Loads of research suggests that the fear of death is on the core of the human subconscious. William James, an American philosopher, called this information that we must die. “The Worm in the Core” of the human condition.
But oh the study Psychological science shows that individuals near death use more positive language to explain their experience than individuals who only imagine death. It seems that the experience of dying is more nice – or at the least, less unpleasant – than we may think it to be.
In a BBC interview, Bose shared some insights that helped him come to terms along with his situation. He mentions the importance of having fun with life and prioritizing meaningful experiences, suggesting that acknowledging death can increase our appreciation for all times.
Despite the pain and hardship, Boas seemed cheerful, hoping his attitude would see his wife and fogeys through the difficult times ahead.
Bose's words echo those of the Roman philosopher Seneca. Advised that“To live long depends neither on our years nor on our days, but on our minds.”
Another recent thinker expressing similar sentiments is the psychologist. Victor Frank who wrote after escaping Auschwitz Man's Search for Meaning (1946) wherein he founded a type of existential psychotherapy, specializing in finding meaning in any given situation. Its latest adaptation is meaning-based psychotherapy, which provides a pathway for individuals with cancer. Improve their sense of meaning.
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What is the connection between happiness and meaning?
In two recent studies, i Palliative and supportive care And American Journal of Hospice and Palliative CarePeople approaching death were asked what happiness is for them. Common themes in each studies were social connections, having fun with easy pleasures resembling being in nature, having a positive mindset and shifting focus from in search of happiness to meaning and achievement as their illness progressed.
In my work as a clinical psychologist, I sometimes meet individuals who hold – or eventually arrive at – a Boas-like outlook on life. One person particularly involves mind – let's call him Johan.
The first time I met Johan, he got here to the clinic on his own with a slight limp. We talked about life, interests, relationships and meaning. John looked clear, clear and distinct.
The second time he brought crutches. One foot was starting to drop back and he didn't trust his balance. He said it was disappointing to lose control of his foot, but still hoped to cycle around Mont Blanc.
When I asked him what was bothering him, he cried. He said: “That I will not celebrate my birthday next month.” We sat quietly for some time and took care of the situation. It wasn't the moment of death itself that weighed on him probably the most, it was all of the things he wouldn't have the ability to do again.
Johan arrived at our third meeting supported by a friend, now not capable of hold crutches. He told me that he had been watching his movies while cycling along with his friends. He concluded that he could watch YouTube videos of others cycling around Mont Blanc. He even ordered a brand new, expensive mountain bike. “I wanted to buy it for a long time, but was tight,” he said. “I might not be able to ride it, but thought it would be nice to be in the room.”
For the fourth visit, he arrived in a wheelchair. This turned out to be our last meeting. The bike had arrived. He kept it next to the couch. There was yet one more thing he desired to do.
“If by some miracle I make it out alive, I'd like to volunteer in home care services — one or two shifts a week,” Johan said. “They work hard and sometimes it gets crazy, but they make such an incredible contribution. I couldn't leave the apartment without them.
My experience with terminally unwell patients is that it is feasible to feel joy and other seemingly contradictory emotions together with grief. Over the course of a day, patients may feel gratitude, regret, longing, anger, guilt and relief – sometimes unexpectedly. Facing the restrictions of existence can add perspective and help an individual appreciate life greater than before.