"The groundwork of all happiness is health." - Leigh Hunt

How parents will help their children combat school avoidance

September 12, 2024 – Stephanie Edenburgh’s daughter began having health problems – or so she thought at first.

It began together with her child complaining every morning of what Edenburgh described as “vague discomforts” resembling stomachaches and headaches. But she soon noticed that these symptoms only appeared to occur on school days. Edenburgh's daughter was 11 on the time and was moving from primary school to secondary school.

“I also noticed a sudden drop in enthusiasm for things my child used to love, like being with friends or going on school trips,” said Edenburgh, who lives in San Diego. She quickly realized her child was actively attempting to avoid school.

Scoliophobiaor school anxiety, affects about 1 in 20 children at various points in childhood, in response to the Cleveland Clinic. The condition, also often known as school avoidance or school refusal, often occurs during times of stressful change, resembling when a baby enters first grade, middle school, or highschool.

Difficult experiences or mental illnesses also can contribute to high school avoidance.

“If a child is having trouble staying in school, either because they don't show up or because they can't make it through the day, it may be related to anxiety, depression, obsessive compulsive disorder, bullying or other causes,” said Jacqueline Sperling, PhDDirector of the Anxiety Mastery Program at McLean Hospital in Cambridge, MA, and Assistant Professor of Psychology within the Department of Psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.

For younger children, dependence on a parent could make school attendance frightening. “Anxiety-related truancy in younger children may be related to separation anxiety from caregivers,” says Christopher Kearney, PhDChair of Psychology on the University of Nevada, Las Vegas, and clinical child psychologist specializing at school absenteeism.

A recent study by Spanish and Italian researchers found that the COVID-19 pandemic has increased school anxiety in adolescents as a consequence of stress, academic difficulties, and lack of social interaction. Like the pandemic, other circumstances outside of a baby's control can trigger scolophobia.

“School avoidance often begins with a triggering event that makes the straw that breaks the camel’s back,” said Felicia Wolf, PsyDpsychologist on the Menninger Clinic in Houston and assistant professor of psychiatry and behavioral sciences at Baylor College of Medicine. Causes can include stress from returning to high school after an extended illness, living in an unsafe neighborhood or a learning disability. School avoidance also can begin after the death of a loved one or when a baby has to alter schools and even teachers, she said.

The effects of college avoidance

The consequences could be very serious. Researchers found that within the short term, a baby who refuses to go to high school could also be socially isolated, perform worse academically, and, depending on the explanation for the issue, may even be susceptible to suicide. In the long run, children who avoid school usually tend to drop out of college and develop severe depression.

The sooner the issue is fixed, the higher the consequence.

“You don't want to reinforce the behavior,” Wolf said. “Don't let your child avoid school – avoidance will reinforce the anxiety.”

Signs of college avoidance

Signs that a baby is attempting to avoid school may include:

  • Complaints of feeling unwell within the morning before school. The child may report stomach aches, headaches, nausea, diarrhea, tiredness and dizziness. These symptoms may or might not be real and should disappear once the kid is allowed to remain home.
  • panic
  • Cry
  • Screaming
  • Threats of self-harm
  • Physical refusal to go to high school (for instance, by lying on the ground)

Signs of avoidance often begin after a break from school. “You may notice that after the holidays or a long weekend, your child suddenly starts begging not to go to school, or refusing to go out the door, or hiding in his room,” Wolf said.

The problem also can result in behavioral changes during school, resembling lower grades. But signs of college avoidance may also be more subtle, resembling the kid eating lunch in the varsity bathroom as an alternative of together with his classmates within the cafeteria. Teachers may additionally notice that the kid is withdrawn, Kearney said.

Is bullying related to high school avoidance?

In short, it may well be a major factor. A new study at a glance found that verbal bullying and cyberbullying by peers creates social anxiety in children. Children who’re bullied usually tend to refuse to attend school than other children.

“If bullying is the problem, you should advocate for your child,” Sperling said. “You can talk to school staff about keeping an eye on your child when he or she is around other children who might bully him or her. That way, your child won't be portrayed as a snitch, but an adult can still report bullying behavior. Your child's teachers can also make sure your child is not paired with another child who might bully him or her on school projects.”

Parents may find that their child needs to construct recent relationships as well. Friendships between children, for instance, may change with the beginning of a brand new school 12 months. “Help your child increase their social capital by encouraging them to participate in school activities they enjoy,” says Wolf.

How should parents respond to high school avoidance?

Start with a mild approach.

“A parent might say, 'I've noticed that it's been harder to get out of bed and go to school lately, and I'm wondering what's making that so difficult because I want to support you,'” Sperling said.

Once the issue is identified, parents should show understanding and empathy, she said.

Edenburgh found this strategy helpful. “I didn't want to seem confrontational, so I just started by saying, 'I noticed you're upset about going to school. Can you tell me why?'” she said. “I tried to be as nonjudgmental as possible because I wanted my child to feel safe talking to me. It turned out my child was afraid of certain social dynamics and school pressures.”

If a baby doesn’t open up or just doesn’t need to go to high school, it will be important to point out compassion but at the identical time set boundaries.

“If a child stays home, one solution may be to make the home environment less conducive to the child,” Sperling said. “The child should not be allowed to watch Netflix all day. Instead, they should sit at the kitchen table and do their homework, not on a screen like they would in class, and they should have a set lunch break and bathroom breaks like they would have at school.”

When is skilled help needed?

Wolf said if symptoms persist for greater than per week, it may be price looking for further help.

“Start with your child's pediatrician to rule out possible medical conditions. The pediatrician can also talk to your child and refer him or her to a therapist if needed.”

Edenburgh also sought skilled help for her child. “We were given practical tools to deal with the fear,” she said.

A new study found that children with school avoidance can profit greatly from problem-solving and skills training, a brand new treatment strategy that provides a baby a way of control and confidence. Talk therapy, exposure therapy, and drugs also can make a difference.

Also, do not forget that school staff are experienced in helping with problems like school avoidance. Involve your child's teachers and guidance counselor.

“One thing that really helps a child is to increase predictability,” Wolf said. “Check with school staff about your child's schedule so they know what to expect during the day.”

Parents also can encourage their child without having unreasonable expectations. Avoid pressure to get perfect grades – reducing stress can reduce anxiety, boost a baby's self-esteem, and help them stay up for going back to high school.

“My child and I have developed a routine together that includes relaxation times before and after school, and I have encouraged participation in activities they enjoy,” Edenburgh said. “I have found that these changes have increased their confidence and reduced their anxiety. I have seen a big improvement, and now my child is more comfortable in school. It's not complete yet, but I feel like we are on the right track.”