Think concerning the last time you looked within the mirror and sighed at your hair. It could also be wrinkled, flat, grey, thin or just refusing to evolve. For many, hair comes with a running commentary – a non-public, near-constant negotiation that we rarely stop to note, let alone query.
My recent Research suggests that this relationship is more vital than we expect.
Hair has long been related to identity, confidence, body image and quality of life. Research has shown that hair loss is psychologically affected. Goodness In each men and ladies, changes in hair texture, color or style can affect how people see themselves and the way they imagine others see them.
Yet despite a long time of research on appearance and body image, psychology has paid surprisingly little attention to at least one easy query: What does it actually mean to have a positive relationship along with your hair?
To answer this query, I interviewed men and ladies about their experiences living with their hair, before developing a brand new psychological model of what a positive relationship with hair looks like. What emerged was not a picture of individuals with “perfect” hair and even individuals who loved their hair daily. Instead, they related to it in a different way.
People with a positive relationship with their hair took time to grasp this. They were interested in the way it behaved, willing to search out out what worked for it and willing to experiment fairly than quit.
Instead of spending their energy attempting to force their hair to be what it’s, they worked with its natural properties. They cared for her, respected her and most significantly didn’t let a nasty hair day judge her.
That does not imply they’re never disenchanted. The curly hair was still frozen. Fine hair was still falling flat. Curly hair still had a mind of its own. The difference was of their self-talk. Instead of considering, “I hate my hair,” they were more prone to ask, “What does my hair need?” or “Maybe I just haven’t found the right way to work with it yet.”
This change could seem subtle, but psychologically it represents a really different relationship.
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Why it matters
Having a positive relationship along with your hair is greater than avoiding the occasional bad hair day. It can affect how confidently you progress out into the world, how authentically you express yourself, and the way you experience life.
The people I interviewed described their experiences and memories of hair weaving. One man spoke of riding a bike along with his long hair blowing within the wind, describing the sensation as “magical”.
Another woman described her decision to stop dying her hair and embrace her natural gray as essentially the most empowering selection. Rather than seeing gray hair as something to cover, she saw it as a possibility to challenge stereotypes about aging and hoped that by wearing it proudly, she could help make gray hair more accepting for other women.
Others talked about freeing their natural curls or finding hairstyles that felt true to them.
Hair figures prominently in a few of his fondest memories. It was a vehicle for self-expression and freedom, confidence, creativity, playfulness and moments of joy.
So what does a healthy relationship along with your hair appear like in on a regular basis life?
It starts with knowing it. Each head of hair has its own texture, density, growth pattern and quirks. Instead of asking why your hair won’t behave like anyone else’s, spend time understanding what makes you unique. What does it do well? What helps it thrive? What have not you actually learned about it?
It also means working along with your hair as an alternative of against it. This could include talking to a hairdresser, getting encouragement, trying different products or learning more about your hair. There has never been more information available, much of it free. The goal is not perfect hair—it’s finding ways to take care of yourself.
Part of that is developing routines that suit your lifestyle. Hair care is far easier to take care of when it really works as an alternative of competing with the realities of on a regular basis life.
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Experience
Allow yourself to experience it too. Try different styles, lengths or ways to wear your hair and see how they make you are feeling. The most meaningful query is not whether everyone else likes your hair. Whether you are feeling prefer it or not.
And when your hair allows you to down, resist the urge to show that frustration against you. Respond with the identical curiosity and self-compassion you’d offer a friend. Ask what your hair needs, what you possibly can learn and what you possibly can try in a different way next time.
Like any relationship, your hair may have good days and bad days. But my research shows that after we stop trying to manage our hair and begin understanding it as an alternative, we are able to find something more invaluable than perfect hair: a healthy relationship with ourselves.